SO…I Technically Lost My Job
There’s a pretty big stigma surrounding the topic of losing your job or being fired. If you heard that someone you knew got fired what would your first thought be? Would you think it was a result of a wrongdoing on that someone’s part? Or would you think that it was at the fault of the company? I would imagine that you would be more likely to think the first. I’m not going to explain why or how I ended up losing my job, but I do admit that it was partially due to pettiness on my part. After the fact, I had quite a bit of free time to really think about what losing my job really meant.
Now, I of course could go on about how I now have countless hours of time that I can use to do whatever I please. I would love to do that, believe me. However, my anxiety and my worry tell me that that is the absolute last thing I should be using that new time for. It thinks I should be using every last second to find a new job even if I’ll be moving in a month. Yes, I’ve had a few opportunities and I have several interviews set up, but they’re only a means to keep me busy and to get a little bit more savings before I move. Along with job searching, I’ve cautiously left myself enough free time to get back to blogging again, even if I didn’t write much to start with. Thanks to the newly freed time, I’ve come to realize a couple things.
1. Money goes a long way
If you work it right, anyway. I’m guilty *cough extremely guilty cough* of getting a nice cup of coffee every day on the way to work. “It’s just $1.50, I can just write it off,” I tell myself. Well, the problem is that one cup of coffee five days a week adds up. And it adds up quick. Just skipping coffee every day saves $30 a month. That’s the cost of my gym membership! Unfortunately, coffee isn’t the only thing I think is negligible.
Gas is hovering around $3/gallon and this girl doesn’t have money flowing to pay for gas every single week. It currently takes around $35 to fill up my tank, but I can get decent mileage before I have to hit up the gas station again. However, is there really a need to drive almost a thousand miles a month even though work was just a mile and a half away? No, most definitely not! The grocery store is only a mile away, and most of the time I don’t need to get more than a couple things. Not to mention the gym is only a quarter mile farther down the road. I can easily get my cardio done before I even step foot in the gym!
Media is another big one. Do I really need that Apple Music subscription? I can always use youtube or pandora, or actually listen to the radio for once. What about Netflix? There’s always free ways to watch TV on the internet nowadays. Plus, since I can watch my boyfriend’s cable, why the heck do I need Netflix?
If I cut out the luxuries (which I really don’t need at all), I can easily save $125 on my monthly bills. That, which could be put into an emergency fund, or invested later on when I find a new source of income.
2. I stress eat.
I’d be willing to bet that a vast majority of us do. There’s science behind why it happens and why it’s addicting. However, while it may feel comforting in the moment, your stomach and your wallet may not be so happy after the fact. Back in February and March, I started researching intermittent fasting and the health benefits that go along with it. Much to my surprise, I found that it not only helped me sleep better and feel better, it also helped clear up my skin and my grocery bill. I’ve also recently come across an eating practice called OMAD. It’s an acronym that stands for One Meal A Day.
When I stress eat, I tend to do it all in one sitting. Bingeing if you will. Now, the good thing about OMAD is I can eat as much as I want in one go (theoretically speaking). So the good thing about OMAD is I can binge eat as much as I feel I need to, and then I’m so full I can’t binge at all the rest of the day. The bad thing is that I still eat as much as I would in a whole day if I didn’t binge.
3. I HAVE to exercise.
Back before my job got hectic, I exercised daily. I cycled, I did yoga, I lifted weights, you name it. Now, I find that I barely exercise at all. I’d be lucky if I did it once or twice a week. I attribute my poor mood mainly to lack of proper exercise, to be honest. There’s always an adrenaline rush when you lift weights or cycle. Yoga and stretching brings an intimate sense of peace. I’ve found that I cannot function properly if I don’t do one of each. My problem lately, though, has been lack of motivation. I’ve been so caught up in the worry and panic of making sure my finances were in order that I hadn’t had time to exercise like I used to.
No. Scratch that.
I hadn’t made time.
My daily outlook and functionality depends on exercise, and I hadn’t cared enough to make time. Due to that, I haven’t been where I want to be mentally in order to prepare for the big move coming up.
4. I’m not as healed as I thought I was.
A preface to this. It’s Tea Talk Tuesday, we deal with some deep topics here. I’m not going into the nitty gritty, but everyone has a past that they don’t want to talk about. I have one that still haunts me, years later. I keep thinking that I’m almost over the trauma, but I’m really not. The compounding stress and worry and panic has triggered another bought of hurt. I want to say that I am more healed than I really am, I don’t want to be that person that’s always complaining or saying she can’t do something because she’s having flashbacks or an episode. The truth is, I’ve realized that unless I start being completely transparent, I’m never going to be completely fixed. I’m never going to completely move on.